Self Belief + How The Hell To Get It
‘Believe in yourself’ they say.
‘Stop doubting and be strong’.
‘Overcome your obstacles and hustles through’.
All well, good and true statements, if you just knew how, right?
Last time I checked, breaking through self doubt and fear is NOT something we were taught in school or at home and now as adults, (well some of us ;)), we are supposed to magically know how to get out of our own way just because we want to?
What is in your head is what causes you to succeed and to fail equally.
It’s not about the better copy, higher converting ads, or even the perfect packages.
Do those things matter?
Absolutely, but if you are going to spend your money tweaking and fixing your business while your mind runs amuck and waits for a chance to sabotage you into submission, you may want to switch the order of focus around before you charge up your ad spend budget.
If the clients come and you can’t handle them- well, I won’t go there, you already know what happens.
So how do we address this sneaky shit that keeps ambushing you every time you gain momentum?
Here are some tips I teach my clients:
EXTERNAL VS. INTERNAL DRIVERS–
Before you set your sky high goals, you need to get really honest and clear as to where the driver is coming from. Internal drivers come from within and external come from outside sources.
Pretty obvious and both are important.
But without understanding where you stand on that spectrum of inner and outer motivation, you won’t know how to course correct when you slip.
If for example you are driven by fortune and fame by watching others around you succeed, right at the moment you want to go chase their dreams instead of your own (aka in the form of the perfect webinar template, the 5 surefire ways to $1 million in 45 seconds…) your energy is BEST spent in slowing yourself down and checking in- where am I in this game?
On the flip side, if you stay only in the echo chamber of your own head and don’t understand where your growth fits in your industry, audience and environment, you will like spend your days on a hamster wheel to nowhere!
So what’s the solution?
CONSTANT CHECK IN AND COURSE CORRECTION:
Using an internal view and external view to measure your ideas and actions so you don’t get trapped on either side and you can enable yourself the time and space to stop, assess and decide what is real, possible and needed to move forward. This works over and over again regardless of what is the task at hand- life, business and everything in between!
2. CONSUMPTION VS CREATION-
This one can cripple even the strongest mind into doubt and a spiral of negative self battle.
If you’re spending all of your time with a measuring stick and notebook out taking in competition’s content, your latest guru’s magical plan or in your past failures, you simply CANNOT birth anything new or good.
That is just a fact.
Your ideas need to come OUT.
Otherwise you get crippled with what I diagnose at Creative Constipation, where all of your ideas and their ideas turned into a muddy mess that goes nowhere fast.
Waiting your turn to get going, doubting every thought, watching action takers fly by you over and over again, which leads to- yep, you guessed, more self doubt.
So what’s the solution?
CHANGE YOUR CONSUMPTION INTAKE:
It’s great to be inspired by others but it’s time to adjust the settings a bit.
Ideation time overrides creation time. Tweak the percentage that you look everywhere else and focus on your own production, brainstorm and self care!
Look, none of us are recreating oxygen here.
Our work crosses over, we spark an idea in someone else, another person will launch something similar every time you are ready to go.
But no one can be you and that’s your USP regardless of similarities- YOU make the difference.
If you like time blocking? Do that.
If you don’t, then find a way to have your own space and time to hang out with your own genius and let your plans and dreams pour out away from the noisy marketplace.
When you are done with your genius incubation, head back into the party and consume and create alongside everyone else’s genius.
3. FITS & SPURTS VS. CONSISTENCY
No muscle gets build by using it once in awhile. Body, mind, spirit- that’s science 101.
So how can you expect your brain to believe you can do or be something if it hasn’t had a chance to see it in action over and over?
Your mind will frankly not believe you can do something new, not because it wants to be a dick, but because it BEHAVES like one to keep you safe.
Your knowledge is solid. We can all keeping honing our skills but you know you’ve got enough to get going- you frankly wouldn’t be in here if you didn’t.
So GET GOING.
Inspired imperfect action.
Rinse and repeat. Tweak as you go.
Until you start doing and shipping what you say you want to do and ship, your inner critic aka inner asshole will keep trying to stop your movement for fear of failure.
So what’s the solution?
TAKE SMALL ACTION EVERY DAMN DAY:
Stop making declarations and then shrinking back. Stop getting a vulnerability or action hangover.
Huge leaps are awesome, and generally don’t work for most people because it’s too big a jump to maintain.
Take yourself on as a project for increment growth and compound interest- it builds a faster stronger foundation than any other method.
And the best part?
Who you grow to be WHILE taking action is exactly who you need to be for the bigger game you are aiming towards.
Mastering your self belief does not have to be the roadblock anymore if you decide so.
Make it fun, make it competitive and make it YOURS.