Finding That Someone…no, not that one!
We live in a society that has been teaching us some crazy things. I’m not even touching war and hate this round.
I mean these doozies:
Fierce independence is crucial, ‘taking it like a man’ gets you places and vulnerability makes people squirm.
Suck it up.
Never let them see you sweat.
Weakness is ugly.
Just Do It says Nike.
Needle on the record screech. STOP. I call BS.
This coming from the feistiest, most stubbornly independent little chick you will meet.
Like drive yourself to the hospital while in labor kind of independent. Catch my drift?
It’s time to stop.
Humans crave connection.
A feeling of being seen, understood and heard.
Shame and vulnerability are our beautiful authentic growing platforms, not secrets to be hidden away.
Being allowed to be our full out selves no matter what that looks like.
Just do WHAT?? Fake it another day?
Our civilizations flourished and evolved in villages. With support systems and large families and sisters who went into red tents with you!
You are not meant to go at this road alone. You do not have to be afraid by yourself, or prove anything to anyone.
Your bruises and bumps are what hone the sharp edges off of that glorious diamond that you are.
Your stories are what makes you the patchwork that you are.
Reaching out to ask for support, help, love, friendship and even those amazing bitch fests makes you BRAVE not weak.
Why are we so afraid of showing our true colors? We hide behind facades of perfection while aching on a soul level for true acceptance. Yet the thought of letting that guard down is so foreign to most people, it wouldn’t even dawn on them.
Today I am giving permission. And am extending that right to you as well.
Because I can’t give it to anyone but myself.
GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO OPEN.
To soften. To allow the real you to come shining on through.
Embrace your strengths and those perceived weaknesses and let yourself be seen finally.
So who is this elusive Someone?
It takes courage to go inward to turn those dim lights back on. To get quiet and still enough to hear your own heart’s whispers and longings. To unravel and untangle where you feel you have gone astray from your soul.
All we need is one safe person. Two fresh eyes, two non judgement ears and one open kind heart to believe and witness us as we emerge from our fogs. For starters anyway 🙂
A friend- an old one or a brand new one.
A mentor who inspires you.
An online forum where you can be free and courageous.
A someone to explore with as you find who you truly could be if you stopped hiding behind who you thought you were supposed to be.
A coach who can see your blind spots.
Messy is Magical.
Promise me something.
Set your gaze out to connect to that one SOMEONE. I vow it will change everything.
My first real someone was a friend I made in my darkest and deepest lost period of my life.
She didn’t know me before- what made me smile or dance what lit me up.
She met me when I didn’t even believe one foot in front of the other was an actual thing I could do.
So why, in that zone, would I dare let anyone close?
Because frankly I had no other choice left. I needed to crack open.
Because I needed to see a light.
To believe even in a teeny tiny way there was something else.
Maybe even at the time to be shown I was worth loving when I couldn’t see myself.
I still can honestly say I have no idea what she saw in me but I believe she was sent to me.
Only logical answer.
In any case….
She shone a light back into my heart. She made me believe I was so much more and she held me up when all I could do was smell the ground beneath me.
She celebrated tiny steps and sat next to me in silence when words held no meaning.
But she never left my side. Which made me never leave my own side.
I trusted her love for me to guide me home to me.
Eight incredibly turbulent, exciting, exhausting and exhilarating years later….she still stands by my side even though she lives so far away. Her voice in my head turned into my own voice of love and she beams with pride as I found my path to shine that light for whoever I can reach.
I am forever indebted to my someone because she helped me unwrap the gift of me.
Who will your someone be?
How long will you wait to let the light crack in?
How about NOW.